


the story of us it always starts the same

by areyoumarriedriver



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-28
Updated: 2013-03-28
Packaged: 2017-12-06 19:32:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/739303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areyoumarriedriver/pseuds/areyoumarriedriver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Of all the storage rooms, I lock us in the one with the toys.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	the story of us it always starts the same

**_the story of us it always starts the same,_**  
  
“What’s this?”  
  
“I told you not to touch anything,” she explained patiently and he crossed his arms over his chest and sighed gustily.  
  
“I didn’t touch it – I asked what it was. There’s a bunch. They look like toys.” He whispered in her ear and she rolled her eyes, keeping crouched behind the box with her blaster at the ready.  
  
“They  _are_  toys. He collects them, apparently. And  _kind_  of busy right now trying to avoid the security officers who all seem to want us dead, so,  _don’t_   _touch anything_.” She ground the words out, using her other hand to pull out her scanner. It wasn’t getting any type of signal, so she turned back to the Doctor, pausing at the sight of him poking through various crates. “Doctor!”  
  
“What?! Oh. I wasn’t touching – just  _looking_.” He pointed out in an offended tone. “Could be something we could use here. Look!” He pulled out a brightly coloured cube and frowned at it. “Not this one, these are rubbish. But look there’s remote controlled planes! We could find a use for remote control planes!”  
  
She sighed before standing, holstering her gun and making her way over to where he was half-hidden in the shadows. “Of all the storage rooms, I lock us in the one with the toys.” She muttered, looking over at the crate barricaded door. She pulled open his jacket and reached her hand in to remove the sonic from his pocket.  
  
“Oi! Thief. Could have asked you know.” He spoke over his shoulder as he dug further into the crate. “Oh, what’s this?!” He popped back out with a grin, holding a Chinese finger trap in his hands. “What is it?” He shook it and she rolled her eyes, checking the readings on the sonic. There were clusters of officers all around the halls surrounding their little hiding hole.  
  
“It’s a Chinese finger... puzzle.” She hedged, looking over at him and grinning.  
  
“Oh I love puzzles! Excessively. Especially if they’re difficult to figure out. Not that much can really stump me, you know one time I-”  
  
“You know the Rubik’s cube was a puzzle? That you didn’t figure out; you called it rubbish and threw it on the floor.” She pointed out evenly and he sighed.  
  
“Well all  _his_  toys were on the floor and you weren’t even there, so how do you even  _know_  this? Honestly.” He complained and she laughed at him brightly.  
  
“I was referring to the one you  _just_ called rubbish and threw on the floor. Nice to see it’s not the first time.” She pointed down at the cube and he frowned.  
  
“Oh.  _That_  one. Yes, well – it is rubbish and I knew this from previous experience, clearly. No one can figure those out. So how does this puzzle work?” He moved over closer to her and she stared up at him incredulously.  
  
“Are you serious? We’re surrounded-”  
  
“Not really going anywhere then.” He pointed out helpfully.  
  
“- my parents are still out there- ”  
  
“Oh they’ll be  _fine_. Quite the pair, those two. They’ll sail through it – you realize you got all of that from them, yeah? In fact I’d wager that they’re actually going to call any moment and come save  _us_ , in fact – so we may as well have fun while we can!” He grinned and held up the small toy as he waited for her response.  
  
“And this is how you’d like to spend your free,  _fun_ , time? Playing with children’s toys?” River asked in a disbelieving tone and he grinned at her in confusion.  
  
“Well what else would we do?” He glanced around in confusion and River had to bite her lip to keep from telling him exactly what he _could_  do in a dark room with her, locked in and near death. Well near-death  _ish_. Near death  _enough_  at any rate. Times like these she longed for her Doctor – not that he wasn’t her Doctor, but he was still at that adorably clueless stage, bless his hearts. Which meant he totally deserved what she was about to do.  
  
“Come here.” She spoke softly, beckoning him over with her hand and taking the toy from him when he came close enough. “You put your hands behind your back.” She instructed and shockingly he did as she asked.  
  
“Seems like an odd sort of toy.” He muttered and she laughed from behind him.  
  
“You just put your index fingers inside the tube and there. Done.” She stepped back and he glanced over his shoulder.  
  
“What’s the puzzle part?” He asked, craning his neck around to no avail.  
  
“You have to figure out how to get out.” She laughed and he looked at her in confusion.  
  
“Well that’s easy you just-” She could see his shoulders moving and his eyes widened before he tugged again, harder. “You just- River there’s something wrong with this. I can’t get out!” He glanced at her in horror and she placed both arms around her waist and laughed, long and hard. “I am  _serious_.”  
  
“I know!” She cried and continued to laugh as he glared at her.  
  
“This isn’t funny. I am stuck. Get it off me.”  
  
“I  _told_  you not to touch anything!” She lectured gently, walking in front of him and pushing him back until he stumbled into the wall of large wooden crates behind him. “The Chinese finger puzzle, also known as Chinese handcuffs-” He rolled his eyes heavenward at that and she smirked, “is a very simple puzzle to solve.”  
  
“Excellent. Great. So solve it for me please?” His voice was unsure and she shook her head with a grin.  
  
“Oh no, that would be cheating. And you are rather nicely restrained. So I’ll just leave you to it then.” She turned on her heel and stepped away, studying the room once more with an eye to escape. There were ventilation shafts...  
  
“River!” The Doctor hissed from behind her. “River! Just come on – please? What  _is_  it with you and handcuffs? Here I thought you meant you had them for kinky purposes but I’ve yet to see me  _not_ punished with a pair!”  
  
“Oh have we gotten to that already?” She turned to him with a grin and he backed up rapidly until his back hit the wood with a dull thud.  
  
“No. Yes. Maybe? Spoilers?” He stammered and she laughed out loud, shaking her head at him. “Oh and now my phone’s ringing.” He complained and she looked over at him.  
  
“I can’t hear anything.” She cocked her head and he shook his with a sigh.  
  
“It’s... vibrating. In my pocket. Can you get it? Probably your parents and since you won’t release me from this evil thing- ” He struggled with the finger trap once more, his elbows out at awkward angles and this resulted in an odd sort of dance-like move as he turned around in a futile attempt to see the trap.  
  
“Oh stop it.” She grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him until he was facing her. She reached into his jacket pocket and he looked at her with a sigh, the tips of his ears turning red.  
  
“Not  _that_  pocket. My pocket. In my - trousers.” He looked so put out about having to ask for her help that she bit back her laughter and reached for his waist without comment.  
  
“Left or right?” She questioned and he nodded down to his left so she reached her right hand forward, sliding it into his trouser pocket. He let out a strangled gasp at that, and she felt the movement of her hand slow as she searched for his phone.  
  
“ _Not_ my phone!” he gasped, his voice high-pitched and breathy by her ear and she grazed her nails along  _not_  his phone once more before moving her hand to the right and pulling the still vibrating device out of his pocket. “You are an evil woman, I hope you know that.” He shifted uncomfortably and she smiled up at him.  
  
“You like it.” She pointed out archly before answering the thing he called a phone, but didn’t actually look like anything at all except two bits of metal tied with some wire. “Hello?”  
  
“Oh thank god – you’re with the Doctor. Look, we’re back on the TARDIS – there’s loads of guards out there, did you see? Last time we crash an intergalactic royal wedding ceremony, I  _swear_.” Her mother’s voice had that excited, slightly exasperated edge to it and River smiled at the sound.  
  
“Well, to be fair, I  _did_  shoot the Doctor’s ceremonial headdress. Not that I  _knew_ that was a punishable offence.” She pointed out, feeling the Doctor’s glare as she turned toward him. He stuck out his tongue at her – so childish, honestly – and she simply looked at him, a single brow raised.  
  
“You have  _got_  to stop shooting his hats. Except you won’t and I know that. Even helped once.”  
  
“Really?!” River exclaimed in delight and Amy sighed.  
  
“Spoilers. Oh god now  _I’m_  saying it. Listen, where are you two? We can just... I don’t know pop the coordinates in you can tell us what thingies to push and then we can leave, never to crash another wedding again, yeah?” The Doctor had moved closer to her, to better listen in and he turned his head so that his mouth was closer to what River assumed was the receiver.  
  
“No. Well yes. But also no. There are officers all around and they’ll hear the TARDIS. No, better to wait until the coast is clear and I am not in any way saying this because I am currently trapped in a child’s toy. No. I am saying that because there are officers of the  _law_  and we need to be careful – and Amy  _your_  daughter won’t let me out! Tell her to take this thing off me!” River shoved his shoulder as he began to complain and laughed at his murderous expression.  
  
“Take what things – what?” Amy asked in confusion. “Explain, Doctor.”  
  
“Doctor can’t answer you right now, he’s  _tied_  up. And he’s a giant baby – he was nosing around where he shouldn’t be, so I put a Chinese finger trap on him. He can’t figure it out.” She spoke into the phone and even the Doctor could hear Amy’s laughter from where he stood.  
  
“I hate you both. Ponds. Hmph! Where is Rory? I want to speak to Rory the Roman. He’ll understand.” The Doctor grumbled and River grinned over at him.  
  
“What, he can’t figure it out? I thought he was a genius.” Amy finally spoke through her laughter.  
  
“I may have put it on him behind his back.” River admitted and Amy laughed harder. The Doctor stomped over, leaning into her personal space, his arms still behind his back as he moved in closer.  
  
“This is  _not_  funny Pond. And both of you are getting kicked off the TARDIS for this. Right, yeah, me and Rory will do a man’s only trip-”  
  
“Have to find some men first.” Amy and River muttered simultaneously and the Doctor glared at River, who happened to be the one he could glare at.  
  
“Right. Enough of you two. We’ll call when the coast is clear. Do not ignore the phone Pond, it wasn’t funny last time, I don’t care how little  _alone_  time you and Rory get. Hopefully I’ll be out of this infernal thing and  _not_ have been violated by your very bored daughter in the meantime.”  He glared at River who stared at him in shock. “Well? Hang up for me! Ruining a good speech here, River.” She clicked the phone shut and continued to stare at him.  
  
“Violated, hmm?” She stepped in closer, tracing a hand over the buttons on his shirt, as she looked up at him. “Well I  _am_ rather bored...”  
  
“No, no, no – I was just saying that to irritate Pond. Your mother. It was in no way a suggestion at all. Maybe I can sonic myself out of here?” She smiled as she moved in closer to him, her hips brushing against his and he drew his breath in quickly at the sensation.  
  
“Can’t.  They’re made of bamboo.” She pointed out, backing him up until he hit the wall behind them. She pressed herself against him and he looked down at her with a mixture of shock, interest and fear. It was a heady mixture, she decided.  
  
“River – what are you – I mean you can’t just keep kissing me. Not that you are. But you might. And you did before – and then the time before that was- well that was rather nice actually, or the time before the time before actually because we should count the two in Berlin, even if one  _did_  kill me. What a  way to go though, eh? You could have at least put some... concentrated effort into it though, I mean, _really_...” He was babbling and she waited him out, her face extremely close to his and her body lined up against his shoulder to heel. Her breasts pressed against the lapels of his jacket and she could feel his hearts thundering just above hers.  
  
“Well I was about to murder my parents’ best friend in front of them by kissing him. No need to add Dad’s heart attack on top of the mess by taking it all just a bit further, sweetie.” She whispered and he glanced down at her quickly. “Now, hush.” She pressed her mouth against his and felt him struggle against the toy behind him for one moment before his strained body relaxed and he leaned into her, his mouth opening under hers. She felt a thrill shoot through her at his relaxation, a tingle that spread through her body, all the way into her fingertips and toes. “Mmmm.”  
  
He pulled back, pressing tiny kisses across her face – her cheek and jaw, eyebrow and nose, over her eyelids and soft quick kisses against her lips. “I wanted the next one to be  _me_.” He confessed into her skin by her throat and she swallowed heavily. “Just – not that I mind, but I wanted to show you-”  
  
“Oh bless, Doctor – there will be plenty of time for that, my love. Do you think that I don’t  _know_?” She pulled back to look at him seriously, and he stared at her for a moment before responding.  
  
“I don’t ever know  _what_ to think about you River Song. Just when I think I have a handle on you, you change and slip by me again. My bespoke assassin, my future lover – my wife?” He punctuated each guess with a soft kiss – to her temple, to the apple of her cheek, finally covering her mouth with his own once more. She hummed, her hands sliding up over his chest and covering his hearts as she let him take control of this kiss. His lips were soft, and he sucked on her lower lip slightly as she moaned into his mouth, her hands moving up until she could bury them in his ridiculous hair as she pressed herself against him. She was breathing heavily when she pulled back, somewhat light-headed and she could feel a flush spreading under her skin. Her eyes met his and she was startled by the warmth held within them. “The most important part of any of those titles, of course is the  _my_. Are you mine, River?” His voice was a whisper, his words hot against her ear as he leaned in closer to her.  
  
She felt a shiver crawl across her skin, and she turned her head to meet his gaze. “As much as you’re mine, sweetie.” He smiled wryly at that, his mouth twisting up at the corner as he studied her face, his eyes tracking across it intently.  
  
“Do you love me, River?” He looked so serious, but his voice lilted up just a touch and she could read him like a book, so she grinned, pushing against his shoulders until his back hit the concrete once more.  
  
“Oh I think you know the answer to that, honey.”  
  
“How much?” His voice was low and heated and she felt the sound of it trickle through her body like a physical sensation. She leaned into him, her hips aligning with his as she gave him a wicked smile.  
  
“Not enough to let you go.” She pulled back with a laugh and he exhaled in frustration.  
  
“River!”  
  
“Yes, my love?” She laughed as she scanned the surroundings again, studying his screwdriver intently.  
  
“Let me out!” He whinged and she laughed, holding up the screwdriver triumphantly.  
  
“Oh  _look_. We’re no longer surrounded, how convenient. I should call my mother.” She pulled out the phone and he pushed away from the wall, stalking over to her and leaning down until his face was level with hers.  
  
“River, let me out.  _Now_.” His tone was low and threatening and she laughed out loud, her head falling back with mirth.  
  
“Oh  _Doctor_ , you’re so scary. Should I fear for my life right now?” She flirted shamelessly and he growled, a low sound in the back of his throat she was  _very_  familiar with. “You’ll want to stop that Doctor,” she warned him in a soft voice, a heat settling low in her belly.  
  
“Or what?” He edged in closer to her and she’d opened her mouth to respond when the noise of the TARDIS engines came pouring through the room. The Doctor jumped back from her, almost stumbling in his attempt to put an appropriate amount of distance between himself and her. “Amelia Pond, I  _told_  you to wait until I called!” He shouted at the TARDIS doors and Amy popped her head out, pulling a face in his direction.  
  
“Yeah? Well, I’ve waited more than enough. And for your information,  _we_  had nothing to do with this. We were just-” She paused abruptly, flushing slightly, “ _talking_  and suddenly the TARDIS just went all lights and flashy buttons and whirly bits and now we’re here.” The Doctor practically shoved past her, stalking into the TARDIS while River followed at a more sedate pace, with a wink at her mother.  
  
“ _Talking_?” She murmured to Amy in a sotto voice as she moved past her and Amy glared at her.  
  
“You’re not too old to be grounded, River Song.” She muttered and River laughed out loud, watching as the Doctor stood in front of Rory, who looked confused.  
  
“How on Earth did you-”  
  
“It’s  _your_ daughter’s fault! Now be a good Pond and kindly release me!” Rory was reaching for the Doctor’s hands when River arrived at the top of the stairs, leaning into the railing and arching a brow.  
  
“So you and Mum were  _talking_ , was it? You know – her blouse is buttoned wrong. And is that  _lipstick_  by your collar, Daddy?” River teased Rory gently, and he froze, a red flush creeping up his neck. “Oh and look. The homing lever’s been moved. Wonder how  _that_  happened.” She observed dryly and the Doctor twirled around, running over to the console and inspecting the levers and buttons there.  
  
“On my  _console_?! On  _my_ TARDIS?” He whirled about, glaring at Amy and Rory, who hung their heads in shame. “Ponds!”  
  
Amy grabbed Rory’s hand, dragging him behind her as she ran up the steps at top speed. “River, you are  _so_  grounded.” She managed to shout over her shoulder, before hustling Rory down the hall to their room.  
  
“No  _you_  are grounded, Ponds! No  _shenanigans_  against my console! I can’t believe you’d- I can’t believe they’d-” He’d whirled to complain to River, who had a hip cocked against the console and a triumphant smile on her face. He stopped talking, swallowing abruptly. “River. Why are you looking at me like that?”  
  
“Well, I guess since you’re all  _tied_ up – I can pilot us away from here.” She stood lazily and stretched, feeling the weight of his gaze against her as she smiled over at him and turned to the console, stretching once more to pull the monitor toward herself. “Any requests, sweetie?”  
  
“Yes. Release me.” He dead-panned and she glanced over at him with a grin.  
  
“Where’s the fun in that?” She questioned with a chuckle, her hands flying over the console as she eased them back into the Vortex.  
  
“River,” he breathed out her name in frustration and she laughed out loud.  
  
“Oh Doctor, I do so  _love_ a helpless you.” She murmured, stepping in closer to him and stroking a finger down up along his left brace. “So adorable.”  
  
“I am not  _adorable_. And you will release me  _right_  now, River Song or I’ll-”  
  
“Or you’ll  _what_?” She laughed warmly as he stared at her, at a loss for an appropriate threat. He knew enough already to know he wouldn’t win. Her fingers reached for his bowtie, stroking it fondly before she tugged on the end, unknotting it with a grin.  
  
“Now, River –” he started nervously, and she smiled up at him.  
  
“Yes, my love?” She began unbuttoning his collar, her hand moving down to the buttons against his chest as she pressed him back into the console.  
  
“You can’t do this. You’re  _grounded_.” He exclaimed in a high-pitched tone and she grinned, leaning past him and flicking the switches that sent the ship into auto-pilot. She leaned back, curling a hand around his braces and shooting him a contrite look.  
  
“You’re absolutely right my love, I’m sorry.” She spoke in a breathy tone and he stilled, looking down at her in shock, his mouth opening and closing repeatedly.  
  
“Wait. What? I  _am_?” He stuttered in a confused tone and she tugged on his braces, forcing him to stumble into her frame.  
  
“Absolutely, Doctor. I was grounded!” She exclaimed, turning and pulling him along after her down the stairs and into the hall beyond. She shot a flirtatious look over her shoulder, and winked at him. “I’ll just have to go to my room.”


End file.
